So, we recently shot an episode on the topic of hollering, when a woman should do it and how. Not really something I’m big on. I like to be pursued, as do a lot of other women still in denial about the untimely death of chivalry. But according to our special male guest, Jozen Cummings’ , a bachelor that has been wrangling loose from the desperate clutches of his ex-girls and potentially soon to be next girls (educate yourself on his spin moves at untiligetmarried.com), that’s wack.
I dig it Jozen, and I’m working on it… Maybe. Anyways, that convo somehow lent itself to the topic of playing hard to get.
And on schedule, Nk, chimes in with her million dollar 2 cents, “Don’t play hard to get with a man that’s hard to get”. We contemplated that for a moment. Evidently, this is an ethic NK practices and learned from the 50+ and unmarried “Samamtha”, off of Sex & the City…
Trust me, I love a catchy quote just as much as the next gal, so I really wish I could applaud the aforementioned quote with the same enthusiasm as NK and the rest of my co-hosts. (Which really breaks my heart because believe me, I love Samantha and my girls). But, alas, I must disagree.
Playing hard to get is a game for winners. Period.
A man that’s hard to get is usually a hot commodity for one or all of three reasons:
1. He’s fine
2. He’s ballin’
3. He’s powerful
That’s it. No extensive qualification list; just three very basic attributes that damn near all women respond to and observe.
Now, if a man possesses either of the 3 qualifications to being “Hard to Get” chances are he is a man that has worked hard at something in life, albeit his 6 pack or career, the man knows hard work on a first name basis and values what is earned.
Also, (especially if he’s number 1) the opportunity to get some quick kitty is part of his daily routine: The crossing guard lady whistles when he walks by. The lady living downstairs in 2B is always giving him the sex eye. The receptionist in his office is constantly finding a reason to graze against him. That sex pistol of a bartender at Happy Hour always gives him a free round. A million hoochies are thirsty to ‘like’ his FB status no matter what kind of nonsense he posts…
Like I said, a man that’s hard to get can get the kitty quick. Like asap quick.
It happens at different stages in the lives of women, we learn or should be conditioned to recognize that giving a guy what he wants, when he wants it is not a sound approach to keeping him around. Ask any girl who had a bad reputation in high school because she built a career around doing what was asked of her. By the time graduation came, she learned that the ish doesn’t work and is now contemplating joining a convent.
Disclaimer: This does not apply to all men. Some men, know what they want and are smitten by a woman that is responsive to his needs and reciprocates to hers. And those men find like-minded women and live happily ever after. The end.
Others… Many others, mistake a woman’s offering as a customary procedure she’s probably used to exchanging and therefore devalues its worth. Playing hard to get is the great benefit to being a woman: It builds intimacy, peaks interest, allows more time to get know each other, and increases the value of your stock as a woman.
So, I’m all for it.
Just don’t play hard to get forever- then it tip-toes the perimeter of “playing games”, which pisses everybody off. Eventually, give him something! Or else that man that is so damn hard to get is gone. Plus you also risk the possibility of making a mockery out of my post and devout belief in this theory. So give up the goods.. in due time