Something That Men Should Never, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever Do

Posted by By Guerdley at 14 April, at 19 : 54 PM Print

This Cornball activity riiiiight here.

Dude, you are not Fabio- put your nipples & company away!

Yes, milk does a body good, we are all in agreement about that. But by no means is it appropriate to send me, or any other cell phone carrier for that matter, an unsolicited picture of you fawning over your own pecks. Yuck.

Should I expect a racy shot of you in lace next?

I heard from some old people reminiscing about back in the day that it was once considered rude to even mention your “intimate parts” around women. (Imagine). Although I know nothing of such a time, like the 70′s,  pissed I missed it. Fast forward to our hyper-sexualized, phallic-revering, smut-loving culture and some how THIS has become the standard medium for courtship… Your developing abs.. On my phone… In the middle of the day… When I’m trying send an email… Smdh.

Helpful Tip: You know what makes a really sexy MMS?

A picture of you cutting down a tree!

Or better yet, you fixing something in my apartment!

OR, if you really want to turn the heat UP…. send me a picture of you paying one of my bills online – Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmmmmmmm! #STEAMY!

Yes, I promise, such a sight would be 100% lust worthy.

But this my friend unfortunately, is not sexy. It is spam.

Desist.

Sincerely,

Tasteful People

(*As told to Guerdley Cajus)

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