Hello, my name’s Tracy. And I guess this is your lucky day to find out that I’m a dopeass bisexual*. Now that you know that little fun fact, please freaking please don’t ask me any of the following questions. It might be tough, but I believe in you. I also believe you don’t enjoy being snuffed : )
1. Would you be down for a threesome?
I can only say this so many times (and fine, probably 100 times more after that!), being bisexual isn’t a prerequisite for obligatory threesomes! Sorry sons, if I wanted to have one, believe me, you wouldn’t have to ask.
2. Wait, so you’re straight now?
After spending two mushy years with my awesome boyfriend, this is probably the query I’m hit with the most. I guess I get this train of thought, but I’m going to remind you of mine. repeat after moi: being bisexual and being a lesbian are not synonymous. If I have a girlfriend, I’m bisexual. If I have a boyfriend, I’m bisexual. Not too tough of a formula, eh?
3. Would you mind if I watched?
When I was with my ex-girlfriend, this inquiry was a mega fave. Watch what? Us blank-stare you to death? Sure!
4. Think you can turn out my girlfriend?
So she can dispose of your chauvinist ass? Hmm, I may consider.
5. So when are you going to be over this phase?
My bi-n-fly life isn’t a plight of limbo, ya know. Even if I do convince my current fella to milf me up, those pretty little kiddies of ours will know their mama’s not straight. Belee dat.
*if you couldn’t help but think dirty thoughts after reading the word bisexual, swap it out for pansexual, that should clear ya lechery right up!
To all my lady-loving ladies, did I miss anything? Everyone else, was that an easy lesson? Let me know yo!