Unless you’re playing wifey to the one who copped your cherry, there’s a sex myth out there that needs to be pulped immediately. Remember that special fellow who made sweet one-minute love to you for the first time in insert-year-here?
Absolutely no disrespect or emasculation to the one great man who I really really hope isn’t reading this right now. Actually, let me go ahead and preface this graph by saying this: even though I did dish out my goods in the dark backseat of a car like a sweet 17-year-old suburban girl, it was truthfully a super amorous experience (I promise!)… just one I don’t think to credit towards my excellent adult smash life.
Why? Because if we’re keeping it real here, having sex for the first time is incomparable to f–king for the first time…
Which is why the one you’ll really “never ever forget” is that dirty fellow who sniffed out the slore in you.
Bet your memories are brightening up now, eh?
He’s the one who stripped off your naivety and licked your inhibitions clean. The one who introduced you to the term, dickmatized. The one your current bedmate should consider gifting a bottle to from time to time.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not trying to undermine the noteworthiness of virginity owners (double daps to you all!), but it should also be noted that just because you arrived in first place, doesn’t mean you’ll remain there.
Or am I spitting loose rap?
And dudes, let me know if you feel the same way about the lucky lady who clutches your pearls vs. the one who taught you how to pump our brains out.
‘Till next time itchbays!