Let’s Answer The Big Question: How to Handle V-Day w/ a Sorta BF

Posted by By Chazeen at 27 January, at 12 : 45 PM Print

Yes we’re starting the V-day chat early! I was inspired by Your Tango’s recent article but thought you guys needed some advice that was a bit more relatable. If you’re like me and have a sorta, kinda boyfriend/guy you’re talking to… you’ve got to prepare early my friends! Lol. Well prepare yourself that is…

First thing to remember: He’s not obligated to do anything.

It’s true, he’s not. You aren’t his girl so he doesn’t really have to buy you roses (which might be a little scary if the relationship isn’t serious yet). He doesn’t have to plan some super romantic date (If he does that, he might give you the impression that the relationship is a lot more serious then it actually is and we don’t want to be mislead if it’s not real… or do we?). Remember Valentine’s day has always been about the females. When’s the last time you’ve heard a guy friend get excited about V-day prep? Exactly! BUT, I will say this: If he does absolutely nothing for Valentine’s Day then consider it a clear indication of where you guys stand in your relationship and perhaps it’s time to peace out or reevaluate his category (fun buddy? in the meantime? potential BF?).

Ok, so here’s what ya gotta do…

Step One:

Talk to him about it. Don’t make it a super serious question/conversation because we know that men hate that. It’s almost like the “We gotta talk” conversations. Sway far,  far from using those types of tones. Your main goal here is to ask 1 question and 1 question only… easy breezy my dears: “So, do you want to do something for Valentine’s day?”

That’s it. Verbatim. Not: “Are we going to do something for Valentine’s Day?”Not “Are we buying each other anything for Valentine’s Day?” and no trickery this year. You know how we are ladies. Sometimes we like to hold off and say nothing in order to see if he’ll do something on his own. I’ve found that it doesn’t get you anywhere. You end up in one of the following situations:

a) Alone on V-Day
b) With a guy who now thinks he’s received confirmation and approval for what he envisioned to be a “fun buddy” relationship.

Either way you should ask so that you figure out or at least let him know that you’re serious about the relationship. Don’t be shy… channel your inner “Can’t nothing scare me” vibe. If you don’t have one, create it. Confidence is sexy or at least respected lol.

Step Two:

Need some help figuring out ideas for what to do? Here ya go!

1 Month In: For the very very new relationship: Send him a funny V-Day e-card or text and call it a day. If he chooses to do something, that’s cool but I don’t suggest pressuring any man at this stage. It could act as a major turn off, in fact, it would turn me off lol. Ever meet a guy that gets too serious, too soon? Like whoa buddy! This is only date three! That’s what I mean. No one wants to be that person or be around that person lol.

3 Months In: For the middle ground stage. At this point in time your relationship is probably starting to get a little serious. You’ve dedicated 3 months of your time so you must be into him and I’d hope he’s into you, but you’ll have to evaluate the seriousness of your relationship on a cases by case basis. Anywho, here’s a suggestion that eliminates the pressure of the guy having to plan this elaborate romantic date for a girl that’s not his girl yet.–> Cook together! This way you’re both doing something for the other. Plan a nice dinner at your house, no candles etc. and then conclude the night with some games and some cute underwear! Underwear… not lingerie unless you want to take it there. But I’d say to possibly chill on that idea unless you feel an extremely strong connection with this man. Like… he’s about to be your BF next week. Reserve something for the next stage of your relationship.

6 Months In: Ya’ll aren’t in a relationship yet? Ok so if it hasn’t happened yet, it should soon (That conversation to be continued) unless you just don’t want to be in a relationship… which is fine too! Dinner…buying gifts…cute little cards or notes…customized Hershey kisses with a cute msg on it, lingerie. I say go for it! Just remember that certain things are reserved for the seasoned girlfriend who’s been around for a few years. If he already acts like he’s your boyfriend then I say it’s ok to plan your side of the day and let him plan his. Have fun! But if you’re still questioning whether or not it’s ok to do something for Valentine’s Day then it may be time to reevaluate your relationship. You’ve given him half of your year…Time is our most valuable asset, make sure you’re spending it wisely.

Hope I’ve made it that much easier! Got more suggestions? share it with our peeps below ; )

@chazeenp

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