If mirrors could speak, I’d slap mine with a muzzle. The amount of times it has watched me check out my naked ass is pretty damn shameful. But hey, I needs to know the talk of my walk when it comes to inflation, jiggle room, and of course the damn c-word. Ah, cellulite don’t we all love how you inscribe our thighs and derrieres with sweet, squiggly nothings. Truth is, if QVC had a special on how to iron out the wrinkles underneath our skirts, many of us would DVR that bitch. But me and my narcissistic butt are here to tell you that a lil celly is a-okay.
“So what, I have a little cellulite. What curvy girl doesn’t?”—Kim Kardashian
Oh, and although I do mean that in a bra-burning, be-comfy-in-your-own-skin way, let’s just get to the point here: dudes don’t give a shit. Unfortunately, I can’t salute this as a blanket statement—beware the eyes of younger fellows—but this is damn near almost #fact. Now don’t you dare rape your esophagus with calories, young lady. Nah son, we’re not about that Planet Fitness pizza-on-the-treadmill life. Health will keep you happy and swaggy. So there’s no use bringing attention to a soft spot he was too caught up in your allure to even think about. Carry yourself with confidence and two bets he’ll happily smack whatever backside you’re working with. You don’t see anyone tripping over Kim K’s crinkles.
But hey, what’s an opinion without substantiation? Thank me later for hollering at the nearest pack of attractive guys to collect their good word on a lil cellulite. Consider these ten reasons to smush with the lights on my friends…
“I def don’t mind at all… I’m a real man who embraces flaws and all. Love is love and jiggle is jiggle. I don’t really like overly toned women or too manly… no Ciara types for me. I embrace imperfections because they’re what make us individuals. These toned overly skinny chicks we see on TV are mutants to me. I want a real woman, not a big girl per say, but just one who embraces herself.”— Fresco, 28
“Things like that don’t really add or take away from what makes a woman attractive. To me it’s her vibe, our chemistry. Appearance is a component, but not a total salespoint.”— Paul, 29
“I don’t mind cellulite like that, not one bit, actually. I’m pretty much content with the idea that women are beautiful regardless of the “look” of their flesh. I would pray not to look at my future wife differently when she gets stretch marks from pregnancy or something. If she’s forming habits that increase the cellulite? Damn, well then we’d have to have a constructive convo, lol.”—Ernest, 24
“Every girl has it, so it’s not as big a deal as women think. BUT if you’re always talking about cellulite, but then want to go to Burger King every other day, we got an issue lol. Most guys don’t mind it honestly. Pardon my french, but I’m not going to be hitting it from the back then say “Shit we gotta stop, I see cellulite!” If she knows it’s there and doesn’t care that’s even better. Put it this way, it isn’t something we like to see, but it’s life and real… so it’s about how a girl reacts to it.”—Stephen, 28
“Imperfections = a story. Cats gotta embrace the imperfections. It bugs me out when my friends complain, like C’mon son, you’re no perfect symbol of sex and physicality and what not, how you expecting another person to be a match for your deluded picturesque women?” — Macario, 27
“When I meet a girl she’s usually not naked, so I don’t see it. So if I’m attracted to her, I will be. Now if the cellulite drastically changes her appearance, then I’d mind. If not, who cares. I’m almost 30 so my likes have matured.”—Mike Brown, 29
“A lil cellulite never hurt anybody. Usually the girls that I like have some, I dont like salad eating b—-s. When you’re younger, you really don’t know anything and automatically equate cellulite to being unhealthy, out of shape, etc. But if a woman has any type of thickness to them, they’re more than likely going to have it. I wouldn’t say it’s a turn on, but it’s not a turn off.”—Richard, 26
And there you have it! Count ‘em up, ladies! No matter how many creams you spread or squats you conquer, feeling good about your body takes some personal meditation, but it also doesn’t hurt to get some positive reinforcement from the opposite sex. So be forgiving, be fit and hug your mirror.
Hella x and o,
PS: If you don’t want everyone up in your comment business, skip Facebook and scroll down a little further to pen your thoughts under a pseudonym. Don’t worry, we’ll still love ya even if anonymously!
PPS: HUNGRY FOR MORE BLOGS? WELL, PEEP THE BELOW!
- I Suck: Confessions From Gals Who Genuinely Enjoy The Art of Going Down
- The 5 Golden Rules of Big Butt Etiquette
- 5 Guys You Should Def Date Before Settling Down