I’m a chick of dualities. My palms are balled up with Gloria Steinman quotes, yet I have every last chauvinist line in Weezy’s Dedication 2 memorized like flash cards. I’ve got a pistol loaded with emasculators, yet I won’t snuff the man who lays a hand on my neck… in bed anyway. At 5 I experienced my first encounter with handcuffs was through a cracked door in my parents’ bedroom, so cops and robbers doesn’t heat up my interest much. But a soft smother? Now we’re on to something.
I don’t know if the influx of Vampire sagas has anything to do with it, but I’ve noticed that more and more women enjoy being choked in bed. Sorta sounds like a gorno when I type it out, but there’s no other way for me to put it to ya nuns! And the ladies I know lusting for it are far from gazelles. These are stiletto-in-your-throat HBICs. Quite the dichotomy. To break it down even further I called on seven lil Rihannas of mine to keep it 101% blunt on why a man’s hands can often feel too damn good on a boss lady’s neck. You’re now about to enter a judgement free zone, act accordingly…
“I love a tender throat cuff, as long as it’s more pressure than actual strangulation—no dick is worth death! But I just like the idea of a guy that is intimidated by me until the point of sex. He gets this new surge of confidence that is so empowering, he’s willing to offend me! If he’s bold enough to dominate me physically and if he’s the type that does it on the whim, he’s now dominating me mentally because he f-cked my mind with the surprise! So at this point, I’m literally being sexed in several ways all at once. It’s such a rush. Damn it… I’m horny now “—Blake, 25
“There’s something raw and exciting about hitting 2-3 erogenous areas at once and being able to trust your partner to dominate you and trust it won’t go too far. On the flip side, I like to choke my partner and I’ve never been asked to stop. So I think it says something that everyone appreciates being submissive at times and dominating at other times. I like being androgynous ”—Alexa, 26
“The first time a guy attempted to put his hands around my throat I admit I was startled. I had no idea it would add to our sexual experience until I relaxed a little (okay, a lot) and let him very slowly squeeze tighter and tighter each time. Keep in mind this was someone I was dating long-term; I think if a guy tried it early on in the relationship I’d definitely freak out. I’m a very vocal, strong woman and men always tend to want to ‘shut me up’; it makes them feel they’re in control. Usually I have no issue obliging ’cause I’m enjoying every minute of it; unbeknownst to them of course. Gotta let ‘em feel their plan is working!” —Simone, 31
“I like being that HBIC, but every now and then I want a man to put me in place. I can’t think of a better way for him to do that than by giving me a good choke while in the heat of passion, reminding me that it’s his turn to take control, lol.”—Jasmine, 25
“Women who enjoy being choked in the bedroom are searching for some sort of external dominance. It’s not a matter of being silenced it’s the concept that there is something, someone, out there stronger than you. Every human being, man or woman searches for a higher power, most feel secure finding that in religion. But religion aside, we search for it in people. We look for something stronger, better, faster, richer, more successful, to aspire to. Between the sheets that desire is literally within physical reach. In order to grasp that thought, the act of choking creates the illusion of a stronger power. A sense of security, intrigue, aspiration and even competition heat up a language that’s already too hot for words.”—Sahara, 24
“I don’t like to be choked all the time, but if I’m in the mood and we’re both feeling the moment, it’s such a turn on! But you can’t try to kill me, that’s scary! A light choke is very sexy because as an aggressive woman it’s like you’re lovingly telling me that you’re the man!!”—Nakia, 27
“It sounds weird since I’m always a boss outside the bed, but for some reason his hands around my neck heightens my arousal. Not for long of course, these are 10-second baby chokes! First off, the guy needs to know the girl he is messing with is a freak, this usually can’t go down the first time sex act. Then if a guy wants to see if she is open, the best first position to try it is doggy style. Explore her body, make his way from the spine of her back to her neck, but if you have a heavy hand proceed with caution!”—Noelle, 27
The thread around all these throats is this: sometimes that B-Day disc just needs to be stowed away in the midnight hour. It’s not about wrinkling our cape or polluting our autonomy, it’s about unhanding those reigns in the name of physical pleasure. Your physical pleasure dammit! The fantasy world loves a sweet contradiction so live that shit up and save your suit for the morning. No one’s firing you.
Calling all dichotomous dolls, give us some neck! Why are you comfortable letting your man work your nape? If you’re more on the coy side, did this give you chills or should I just chill? Haha. Dudes, learn anything? The comments section awaits you!
Much x and o,
Hungry for more honesty? PEEP THE BELOW!
- I Suck: Confessions From Gals Who Genuinely Enjoy The Art Of Going Down
- The 5 Golden Rules of Big Butt Etiquette
- Is A Gal Who Doesn’t Swallow, Wifeable?