Some of us (and you know who you are) have taken the term “BFF” out of context. Yup, that clumsy lust has gotten you into quite the compromised position: you accidently love up a homie and now are stuck wallowing in the awkward aftermath of your libido collision. Do you see why that Chazeen girl stresses the importance of a Back-Up Guy? Yup, you guessed it, to keep you from doing the Lumbada (among other forbidden dances) with best friends and regrettable rebounds. Like a good pal, he or she is always there for you at your most vulnerable. Unfortunately, always also happens to constitute interims between qualifiable back-up guys, the tender hour of a post-break-up period, and some times even in the dead of night when wolves and loins howl at the moon. Yes, like State Farm, a true friend is always there.
And depending on the magnitude of desperation, depravation, or devastation you were in, you may very well rationalize a quite logical reason to jump ship and take a quick leap out of the friendzone: Caring is sharing, things won’t get weird, it’s just “sex,” it’s okay because I’m doing it with someone I care about and know well, or other comparable malarkey. But alas, anyone who has ever slapped more than a hi-5 against a good friend has learned that sex can stain a pristine friendship, and make things at the very least, undeniably different between you two.
And depending on how desirable of a sex machine you are, he or she may attempt to tug on those strings you guys swore were not going to attach.
1. Have An Awkward Conversation
Like as soon as possible. Especially if you guys have accidently done it more than once. And not that quick breathy conversation that takes place during accidental foreplay, where you both decide while unzipping your Levis what your committing is a safe move. No, the conversations directly before, immediately after, and most importantly during sex, are all bullsh*t. Sex talk is over-inflated with endorphin juice and holds little to no credibility in the post-nut material world. Your conversation, should happen when the air is honest and sober. Address the fact that you two have dirty danced and you are bothered by the shift in your friendship. Sometimes, the other person may not necessarily be as irked by the situation. In that event, having what feels like an awkward conversation to only yourself is still beneficial, because your issue has still been addressed. It might take some time, but this is the first step back toward the friend zone. Forward march.
2. After Wiping Down, Throw In The Towel
Yes, young lover, quit while you’re ahead. Whether it was one messy night, a casual here-and-there romp, or a full on affair, you’ve got to truly quit sexxin if you want a sturdy repair job. I understand that this may be quite the feat, especially if your friend’s craftsmanship is some type of wonderful (smdh… I hurt for you). Nonetheless, it doesn’t matter, if you two are not planning to develop into a real relationship, salvage the real relationship you already share. If you choose to carry on, you’re playing with fire and should opt to throw some cold water on the smoky situation, as well as yourselves.
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3. Recruit An Immediate Replacement
This is a pivotal move that will ensure the success of Steps 1 + 2. If you and old reliable started bumping paths during a moment of vulnerability, consider that moment over. Time to get back on the horse and find a replacement, closure, a reasonable rebound, or whatever it is your searching for. Don’t settle on the satisfaction that your scratch has already been itched. Still make it a point to find what you really need to feel emotionally empowered again. I stress doing it immediately, because quite frankly where you sit is where you stand. If you stop questing for emotional empowerment, that moment of vulnerability can easily become a state of vulnerability, which has the potential to set you back steps 1 + 2, and possibly even right back under the friend your trying to quit frequenting.
4. Doesn’t Hurt To Find Him One Too..
Let’s face it, after you have sex with somebody, you develop an unwarranted right of passage which basically makes you feel entitled to that ass for the rest of existence, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. Which basically means, even if you have successfully found fullfillment past the point of vulnerability doesn’t necessarily mean your friend has. And depending on how desirable of a sex machine you are, he or she may attempt to tug on those strings you guys swore were not going to attach. Prepare for success, and throw in a good word for him in other circles, do your part in helping that friend bait a distraction. Not only because it’s the productive thing to do, but because well, that’s what friends are for.
5. Deny All Trips Down Memory Lane
BFF: “Hey remember that time we–”
BFF: “You got admit, that night was really—”
BFF: “Wow, it’s like that?”
Reminiscence is always romanticized, don’t believe the hype and most importantly don’t entertain it. Devoting your energy to that discussion is making a non-factor relevant. Throw that night (or slew of nights) in the closet and force your other skeletons to make room. Your friend will eventually will notice and respect your consistency and eventually follow.
At the end of the day, always remember good friends are hard to find, this cliche has longevity for a reason. Unless, you and your new b-u-d-d-y are contemplating jumping over brooms in the distant future, I would highly reccommend you stop jumping on each other’s beds. For the most part sex is a enjoyable experience for us all, and it’s much easier to find good sex than it is to find a great friend. So, lean toward probability. Also, this is something that happens quite often, especially to women. Especially us pretty ones, ha! Our guy friends, for the most part have already entertained the idea of sex with us at one point or another so when the opportunity presents itself, don’t expect him to have all the composure. That’s your job hottness.
How else can you successfully repair a friendship disassembled by sex? Or maybe you disagree? Do you think a friendship that was strictly platonic can turn physical and remain the same? Share your lust at @wwmdtv.
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