Quite frankly because what’s life without dreams? Especially wet ones. It’s been brought to my attention that devising and revising a celebrity slam list is a favorite past time of many upstanding Americans. Recently came to this conclusion last week when I had the nerve to ask this question to a few girlfriends and was immediately taken aback by the thirst; evidently some had loose pageant speeches already prepared: “… and that is why I would like to have sex with Young Jeezy. Thank you” *curtsy*. Yeah, all that… Truth betold though, don’t we all have a disrespectful daydream we revert back to from time to time when the world just won’t give it to us good? And while regular people are perfectly fine specimen, the daydreams starring the rich and famous are far more personally fulfilling for me (not to say that I don’t fantasize about some of you, I’m an equal opportunity luster). Now I can’t quite match up to the execution of some these brazen groupies out here, but I can certainly applaud their ambition damnit. Again, what’s life without dreams? A broken bird or something like that… So without further ado, here are the top five exceptions to my future wedding vows.
1.) Idris Elba
Is it an overstatement to call this man a masterpiece? I have a flair for hyperbole that I’m trying to get a grip on but this feels accurate. For those who don’t get it, Idris is one of Hollywood’s greatest adonis, a beyond that a lovely, lovely statuesque. This man literally walked out of the arabesque black and white portrait hanging in 83% of female apartments and into our hearts and in the back of perverted minds, a tad bit further. Now, don’t get me wrong I’m still a little cross with Stringer Bell and his blatant disregard for the game, but that’s not to be confused with the eternal flame I have burning for Idris Elba. Unlike many others, I’m capable of separating fiction from reality. That’s why Idris is my man.
2.) Edward Norton
Okay… Let’s see how do I begin to explain myself? I’m at a loss, I got nothing kids! This man just does it for me. He’s talented, he’s subtle, and he’s confident. Sometimes sex appeal is just that simple, feel me? Even when he was getting his ass served in Fight Club, I had the hots for this man. Like, “Oooo he can take a beatdown…” *faint tremble*. Shamefully (and yes, I apologize to the minority community in advance) I even found the man attractive in American History X (post-rehabilition, of course)! SMDH, no I am not proud but I am honest, this man is my fetish. Inexplicably yes, but undeniably for sure.
3.) Lenny Kravits
Denise Huxtable effed up a lot, but she got it right with this one. I hate to be a chauvinist, especially so early in the day, but this one man is one hot piece of ass. And I say that with all do respect. As depicted in my daydreams he’s a really a nice guy with a tender heart. After a heavy and breathy midnight romp, he picks up his guitar and plays me a piece I inspired him to write that morning in the shower. Then he inserts a flower behind my ear. I blush a little bit. So does he. On to round 7. He’s just that type of sensitive guy, ya know?
4.) Lil Romeo
Listen don’t judge me, I can’t control the perimeters of my sub-conscious. Plus, how was I supposed to know this little trick-or-treater was going to grow up to be so damn symmetrical? Truly milk is amazing. Granted, I’m a bit young to be on some Cougar status already, but I’ve read the laws and am perfectly within my right as a tax paying American to lust after this man freely, thank you very much. Plus, the young tike looks worth the jailbait (I kid! Kinda..)
I must admit, this one is not like the others. Him and I have something real that goes beyond sex but certainly includes it. If you couldn’t tell by one of my past spiels, this man and I have a deep connection. Yes, at the moment, it’s solely in my head but hopefully the publishing of this blog will present new opportunities (I’m about dreams, ugh)! So Nas, if you happen to come across this blog, please DM me on Twitter I have some photos I’d like to share to with you…
OMG! Thanks so much for letting me purge like that guys, you’re great friends! Lol! What about you? Do you have a starting five already in mind? Not feeling my lust list? Think my blogging license should be revoked? LMFAO! Tell us your thoughts and your #FiveCelebritiesIHopeToSexWith over at @wwmdtv
As always, great times!
HUNGRY FOR MORE BLOGS?
- Pretty Boy PSA: Why Women Everywhere Are Beginning To Loathe You
- 50 Shades of Cray: 7 Dudes Expose Their dark Twisted Fantasies
- Dream Guy Gone Bad: The Ugly Day My Idris Elba Turned Mr. Bourgie