Dear Pretty Boys,
Please don’t take offense to the title above, I just needed to catch your attention luvs. I’m sure that some of you who are reading this letter will be quick to say “Well this ain’t about me!” So let me take a second to let you know exactly who this letter is for. This letter is not solely for the high maintenance guys. It’s for your gorgeous model-esque negroes, chicos and blancos. It’s for every guy that’s ever used his looks to get by at least 6 times in his life. It’s for the guy who walks into a room and knows that he’ll capture a female audience at the wink of an eye or the flash of a smile. Yup! If you fit the mold mentioned above, congrats! You sir are a stunning man and what I like to refer to as a “Pretty Boy” so this letter is for you buddy! I repeat…this letter is for you. Read on my dears…
“I don’t like pretty boys because they are nothing but trouble. They act like they are irreplaceable and treat women as if they are easily replaceable. Not interested in dating men like that!” – Heather, 26
Now I’m sure you’re aware of the stereotypes that surround a guy like yourself and if you’re not familiar then no worries, I’ll line them up for you:
“He’s not too bright”
“He’s not a chaser! You’ve got to chase him”
“He’s got a lot of chicks on his stick and so if you’re not giving it up then he doesn’t have time for you”
A bit harsh? Isn’t every generalization and stereotype? But… they always stem from somewhere.
This summer I got into a bit of a tiff with a pretty boy pal about my neglect to date men like you. “That’s not right. You can’t judge every guy by your past experiences. You should give it another chance this summer.” Truth be told, at the moment, this plea seemed like a pointless attempt. Don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate a gorgeous guy and it isn’t a problem for me to bag one but what is the definition of insanity? Yea only a fool would continue on a path that always lead to disappointments. Nonetheless, I decided to be a fool one more time and welcome the challenge. I not only dated one pretty boy. I dated three. Let me share my experiences with you, fair friends:
PRETTY BOY #1: MR. JUMP YOUR BONES…
In an attempt to fulfill one of my summer goals, 5 Guys You Should Def. Date Before Settling Down, I gave this man a lot more chances than he deserved. Perfect example of curiosity killing the cat. He was guy #2 “The Foreigner.” Asian. Very very attractive. Tall. 6’2”! Fine, and nice lips. He told me that he had his 1st intimate experience with a black girl last year and said that it was pretty amazing. Should this have been a red flag? He also mentioned his distaste for often becoming “the experiment” for any girl who had never dated an Asian guy (lol. Dang). Given that fact, I didn’t think I’d become the experiment myself but when a guy says that he’s not looking for a relationship… it becomes a red flag. Not to mention he had just read my recent cuffing season blog smh. I knew it was coming but dang not on the 2nd night that he just happened to be at my house watching Sex in the City (My call. It’s all I had but never again.) He definitely jumped straight to 4th base in an attempt to create our own episode of Sexcapades but TOO SOON DUDE! After that, I never heard from him again. Actually I did hear from him again but the text msgs shifted from quick responses and full sentences to 12 hour delays and short responses. Hey! I produce a show called “What Would a Man Do?” so I knew the deal. Two attempts and I called a quits.
PRETTY BOY #2: MR. NOT SO SMART…
Beautiful guy, especially according to society’s standards. Light skinned, blue, green or maybe hazel eyes depending on what he was wearing. Tall and toned build. One of those guys that you found yourself asking “What the heck is he?” This dude was beautiful until he sent me a 21 page letter with size 24 font, no spaces and no paragraphs. What was the letter about? Not important. Just know that it was a written piece that he planned on possibly publishing. It was an ungrammatical, illiterate mess :(. From there on, it only went downhill.
PRETTY BOY #3: MR. I’M TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL…
He was a model guy, which I normally don’t date but he had sex appeal. You know the type of guy that gets you hot and heavy just from looking at him. Think Tyson Beckford meets Jesse Williams. Super short lived experience though. Know why? Because that “Too cool for school” ish doesn’t work for me. Short text messages accompanied by lack of effort. It’s possible that his time was consumed by many other women and so he didn’t have the time to dedicate full sentences and thoughtful approaches to me. Be that the case, I say more power to ya sir but the woman ought to be chased, not the other way around. At least for this lady.
“These type of guys are perfect for the insensitive chick that has time to chase the guy, that won’t turn down an opportunity to sleep with this gorgeous god, that isn’t looking for someone to necessarily compete with her intellectually.” – Christina, 26
Now if you’re in the younger stages of your life, are perfectly ok with casually dating and squeem at the thought of getting into anything serious then you may stop reading this letter right now. It’s cool. Instead, print it out, save it and reference it when you reach that higher, more serious stage in life. But if you’re looking for a quality woman, then it’s time to step your game up brother. Looks are overrated now. The not so fine/ average Jo’s are winning by a landslide. Take a look — > Straight From The Horse’s Mouth: How Ugly Guys Bag Gorgeous Girls Think I’m the only one with these views? Let’s reference some of America’s most beautiful gals and their dating choices: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, Beyonce and Jay Z, Kimora Lee and Djimon Hounsou, Heidi Klum and Seal, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, Rocsi and Eddie Murphy. All men that aren’t ugly but certainly not affiliated with the words “gorgeous” or “fine” but…they knew how get themselves a winner and keep her (at least for a few years). Jack pot!
Ok. So my suggestion to you: Be a well rounded dude. Sexiness should never be a bad thing and it generally isn’t but if you’re at all interested in dating the well rounded wifey material type of gal (self sufficient, attractive, smart, and sexy chick. Triple or quadruple threat), you have to realize that she’s got options too and after a while those rose colored glasses that make Jo Schmos look beautiful, become permanent for her… making it even harder for you to compete brother. She can subconsciously weigh out the pro’s and cons in a guy when she sees him and at the end of the day if you can’t measure up, she’s bound to look elsewhere. Are the type of girls that you currently date, the type of girls that you’d ultimately like to settle down with? If not, then it’s time for some changes senor. I have a few guy friends that opted to go against the norm of the usual pretty boy swag and once they figured out the secret, they became a hot commodity. What’s the secret, you ask? Simple: Just be a chill dude, that respects a lady’s time, makes some type of effort and doesn’t act like the world is owed to him. Do that and I promise you’ll run into less drama filled, insecure, easy and lame women. ; )
Your friend… I mean that,
So what ya thinking folks? Ladies, got some notes to add in here for the men? Men, are you ready to jump down my throat with some cray rebuttals? Go on… speak your piece below. It’s conversation time!
PS. For the females that are ready to prowl on my piece with opposition, please only do so if you have had nothing but drama free experiences with these wonderful beings. Muchas!
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