The idea for this blog arrived via a girlfriend’s 3:30PM email that was subject-lined: “Yuck-Who says that?” Very few would carry on with their other Chrome tabs after locking eyes with those four words. I certainly welcomed the procrastination. And you know what? There’s absolutely no point in me stalling you further with semi-wit. Just take a look at this sh-t.
My reaction to that was as follows:
did this really just happen ??!??????????
*dives six feet under*
Woo, I swear that cackle gave me Teyana Taylor abs for six hundred seconds of my life!
After all my girls’ typed out hoots piped down, me gots ta thinking. Though the opening 5th grade compliments of that lil love letter are quite entertaining, the use of the noun ‘mommy’ is what really gave me a belly ache. Those two exclamation points definitely upped the ante, but really Mister Blurred Name is not the sole fellow to utter this maternal moniker. I became curious to know if un-prefaced by the above silliness, women could handle hearing “mommy” (not to be confused with “mami”) tumble out a suitor’s mouth— without their hormones flatlining.
So I reached out to some gal pals outside the original email chain for their feelings on men who’d rather not use “mother” or “mom.” Here are their thoughts…
“Ick! Not normal. Screams mommas boy. Key word: boy. After a certain age, I need him to get off the teet. He should view her as someone he looks up to. His Mother. Mommy says he is still dependant/needs her to nurture him. Or, that she views him as her replacement “man”. Think : Terrence J on Think Like A Man. That’s an instant vag-dryer-upper.” —Shayla, 26
“I think it’s normal. it’s hard to ditch what you grew up calling one parent. I’m not leaving Luke James cause he calls his mom “mommy” lol. It also depends on how they say it. I’ve heard guys say mommy in a non-feminine way. It’s not like they’re speaking in a baby voice! I don’t think a guy should give up what he’s been calling his mom for 20-30 years b/c it makes the woman feel weird. It’s learned behavior. some guys switch to “ma” or whatever; others it’s more difficult. It’s not really a dealbreaker for me.” —Clover, 28
“OMG! That’s super odd. Scary, even. Makes me feel like a guy hasn’t detached from the umbilical cord yet. Idk. I guess in extreme circumstances (like death), I may let it rock. But nah. I call my mom “mommy,” too. Women can get away with it, even little boys. Grown ass men? No.” —Nicole, 24
“A man who refers to his mother as “mommy” should only use when trying to simulate a baby voice or in a teasing way but on the regular? That should be a red flag for a mama’s boy who’s still experiencing regression. Leave the kiddie talk in the past or don’t expect me to call you “daddy.” —Adelle, 22
“I don’t mind if it slips, but if it’s an every time thing… that my dear is a sign that he is a bonafied momma’s boy. It’s more than OK for a dude to be there for his mom but let it come down to a situation where it’s your word against hers, you might as well pack your bags cause that’s a round you are not winning.” —Alissa, 25
“If a man treats his mom well and “mommy” is his term of endearment for her, I think it shouldn’t be taken negatively. I’d rather him call her “mommy” than some other not-so-sweet or endearing terms. However, I def don’t prefer my man to call his mom mommy lol, especially if he’s calling me mami in the bedroom.” —Carolyn, 28
Thought you were going to be hit sideways with a flock of HNFWs, eh? There most definitely is a double standard when it comes to men and women referring to their mothers as mommy. Generally, chicks are praised for simulating youthfulness, while aging is a sign of swag for dudes. You know how the older a man gets the more his Clooney stakes go up, but once our first wrinkle waves whattup, we’re passed a bottle of creamy foreskin? Wait, was that just a mini rant? LOL. Mind your manners, ladies.
My girl Clover made an interesting point about the phonetics of the word mommy. I’m not sure I can hear even a professional alto pronouncing that high y with mighty husk, but hey, anything’s possible. If any males out there would like to email me audio of them enunciating mommy, mu-may, please direct that download to email@example.com. Thanks in advance!
Now on to the rest of yous. Guys, are we being too hard on your word choices? Girls, are we not being hard enough? Speak your piece future mommies and daddies!
Much x and o, yo!
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