It happens all the time. Somebody posts quite frankly a shitty pic of you. Or a group shot of a team of lovelies pops on the feed. Of course the one who posted it looks phenomenal, strategically. After taking a tighter glance you start to notice the friends, the outfits, the hair, the all around glam until it happens –BAM someone got caught with the lazy eye, or the food stain, or worse the ugly face. Yikes! And now your glam shot has been turned into a damn shot, as in Damn, what’s up with that one?
Yet another symptom of Conceited Girl Syndrome; posting pics of yourself where you look amazing, but your girls… Not their finest hour. It happens all the time. Looking good? Post. But real friends scan. Critically. Why? I can go on for days and nights about the power of a strong crew of female friends and get super sister souljah on the matter, but nah, I’ll spare you the lunch break. Just check out these 5 rules for posting girls night out shots, and feel free to forward this blog to a friend that accidently violates. Knowledge is power:
1. Pics Where Her Tummy Is Doing That Swollen Thing
Now let’s not get touchy, some of us are just naturally juicier than others. And if that’s the frame we’re working with at the the time of the picture flash, than it’s all good. I’m talking about the times when some of us are looking abnormally larger than we have to. Maybe the delayed flash caught our exhaled gut as opposed to the intended inhale gut. Idk. Nobody’s fault (except maybe the impatient shooter that was naive enough to believe that when ladies ask, “Do you mind taking a picture of us?” it actually means one shot). In any event, these pictures are better off being posted in the album of personal memories. Note.
2. Pics That Make You Feel The Pain Of A Sweat Stain
This one really blows because everyone could be on their looking their absolute best. Tresses could be on their full Tresseme, smiles can be ad-worthy, and everyone’s outfit could make hashtag heaven –but a bandit sweat stain could bring the potential of this glam shot crashing down. Or worse, a visibly lax shave job. Smdh. These types of pictures are really bad, mainly because they’re secretly offensive. To the naked eye scanning their homefeed this pic is candy land. Until of course that expansion button is clicked. Then the truth comes out. The ugly truth. The ugly sweaty truth. The ugly, sweaty, hairy truth…
3. Pics Where Her Weave Is Exposed!
Stop the madness ladies. I mean really! The internal affairs of a woman’s sew-in are her personal business, not our Facebook friends! And again, I’m a rational gal and totally get that some of us just don’t know our way around the science of weave as well as we scholars do, and may very well look at another friend’s Alfalfa as a minor mane mishap, and not as the trifling expos`e that it truly is. Mistake. But now that everyone’s been forewarned (in writing) it’s safe to assume that tomorrow is a new day. Brand new. Right?
4. Pics Where’s She’s Drunk
Let’s be honest, have you ever seen a cute drunk pic? Never. Not even on Brittany’s cute ass. However, despite the epic failure of these photo shoots, a lot of us insist on challenging the status quo –forgetting that those cutesy BR shots taken before, are light years removed from those stumbling pics of you Van Haling on a table later. One of these two are certainly not like the other. However, these great, great misconceptions continue to happen and usually stem from the confidence found at the bottom of those cran + Goose glasses. Now I get it, and without reservation can admit I spent 4 years in undergrad living a lifestyle that might had not made it, so I get it –some drunk pics are simply the epoch of the time. Cool. However, those sloppy drunk GNO pics where no one’s acting as classy as the dress their wearing…Not suitable for public viewing.
5. Pics Where She’s Wearing That Outfit…Again.
It’s a simple question that we all have an answer to, yet forget to ask. Do you plan on wearing this outfit again in the near future? We all know it by now, once an outfit’s been posted it’s ready for retirement. Maybe not a full retirement plan, but certainly a sabbatical. Outfits seen online and later worn in real life always seem to solicit those, “Didn’t you wear that yesterday” glares. Bizarre but true. Cross reference with the homie about his one. Do the right thing.
So what have we learned today? Post pictures of your friends the same way you want to be posted (in all of your damn glory). Also feel free to utilize that cropping feature and cut a chick out if you’re loving you’re look that much. Give her a head’s up though, it’s always a slight sting when you realize your elbow made the cut of a friend’s profile pic, but nothing else about you did. Overall just remember that no matter how magical the moment is, the majority of those legendary GNO nights are most fullfilling for the participants only. Unfortunately for the onlookers that missed out on all the fun that lead up to the point of “Cheese”, they’re are forced to appraise that pic at face value. So don’t take cheap shots.
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