B*tch, Please: Is There A Prob With Men Calling Their Perfect Girl The B Word?

Posted by By Tracy at 9 August, at 10 : 01 AM Print

B*tch, Please: Is There A Prob With Men Calling Their Perfect Girl The B Word?

For someone whose mouth is usually stuffed with expletives, two days ago Kanye West served me some sweet cuss I just couldn’t swallow. In a now suspiciously deleted tweet, Yeezy confirmed that he wrote a tender song called “Perfect Bitch,” about you guessed it, his perfect girl bitch, Kim Kardashian. Who in an act of perfect appreciation, reportedly told her not-so perfect bitches that she feels honored by the title.

Right then and there, I really should’ve ordered my eyebrows to calm the hell down. Because truthfully, just a year ago if you were fearless enough to tug at my earbuds, it’s likely that my double-digitth blast session of Kanye and Hov’s “That’s My Bitch,” may have greeted ya.

Yall know I’m a bullhorned member of #teamestrogen so cool it! Those listening sessions happened in the privacy of my Beats and non-judging loved ones haha. I even balanced its high play count by tweeting about Hov’s life contradictions in reference to his 2002 joint, “Bitches & Sisters,” an ethos that ironically evaporated once that B word stood for Beyoncé.

And now, non-bitches of mine, is a good time for me to apologize for my own impending contradictions. I’m sorry.

Okay, lets continue. Our private and/or public devouring of the word bitch is like this multi-layered, poo-flavored cake that we all have the dumbest reasons for eating. Look, it’s honestly not the most terrible term in the dictionary (‘Gorgon’ comes equipped with way sharper talons) and certainly doesn’t always have the worst intentions behind it (surely Beyoncé would’ve mentioned that in a female anthem by now, right?), however with the heavy-handed help of some of our favorite rappers—male and female—bitch has become perhaps the most edible dirty word of them all, used for good and evil—sometimes at the same damn time.

No matter how you slice it, that’s just an odd thing to want to popularize in the public sphere. Especially on the endearing note, which ups its practice. Anyone care to argue the cool factor of using the word bitch? Never will it be associated with class or regality or godliness, it’s not a word you can bring into just any room. It’s just cheap. Like high fructose corn syrup. And unfortunately high fructose corn syrup can taste good lol. There’s not one grownass human being who doesn’t have more than 1% of it in their body. But it’d appear mighty unintelligent to proudly promote high fructose corn syrup for consumption…

Whether the word is becoming socially acceptable or not I’m personally not comfortable with being called a b*tch. I compare it to the N word. It’s not as harsh of a word as it used to be but still has never completely transitioned over to being a positive thing… to me at least. I think rappers are being socially irresponsible and silly girls are letting them. That’s why they keep doing it.”—WWMD’s Chazeen

Me hears ya Chaz. Yet, let’s go back to “That’s My Bitch” for a sec… Hov’s verse in particular.

Go harder than a n—a for a n—a go figure/Told me keep my own money if we ever did split up/How can somethin’ so gangsta be so pretty in pictures?/Ripped jeans and a blazer and some Louboutin slippers/Uh, Picasso was alive he woulda made her/That’s right n—a Mona Lisa can’t fade her/I mean Marilyn Monroe, she’s quite nice/But why all the pretty icons always all white?/Put some colored girls in the MoMA/Half these broads ain’t got nothing on Willona/Don’t make me bring Thelma in it/Bring Halle, bring Penélope and Salma in it/Back to my Beyoncés/You deserve three stacks, word to Andre/Call Larry Gagosian, you belong in museums/You belong in vintage clothes crushing the whole building/You belong with n—as who used to be known for dope dealing/You too dope for any of those civilians/Now shoo children, stop looking at her tits/Get ya own dog, ya heard? That’s my bitch.

Feel free to say this in your head, while I say it aloud: SWOOOOOOOON. You know why Bey gave that track her blessings? Why blogsters didn’t question her silent nod of approval? Answer: the allure of dichotomies. Ahem, ahem.

1.) The raw vs. soft dichotomy (ie: “How can somethin’ so gangsta be so pretty in pictures?”)

2.) The street smart vs. book smart dichotomy (ie: “Call Larry Gagosian, you belong in museums”)

Depends on the scenario… If that’s my pet name during the throws of passion, I’m all about it. Talk that talk man… But in public, even when used affectionately, it still sounds harsh and devalues any chick that rides w/ it. Like if Michelle let O call her his bitch, you’re automatically looking at her differently –and it’s not by a higher standard. No matter the intention, “That’s my b*tch” will never compare to “That’s my lady.”—WWMD’s Guerdley

G, I don’t even think we could sue Lupe Fiasco for slapping us right now lol. The “evolution” of bitch has gone from: insult, to overall synonym for women, to affix of a compliment. Are y’all seeing all the loops and double loops and triple loops that are happening for me to try and explain something that’s so damn ideological?

Obviously, split sentiments on “bitch,” have been alive for years, but I’ve just been startled by the recent back-to-back, b-word titles from not one but two of my favorites artists. In June, The-Dream dropped his single “Dope Bitch” where in my ears the reiteration of that second word is so mathematically dangerous I’ve only managed to play it twice. I love you Terius, but that song is smothered in high fructose corn syrup. As the female-dog-loving rapper Lil Wayne noted in his doc, “Repetition is the father of learning.” And that is fact. This is the string that raised my brow—the ugly, though sometimes pretty, nonetheless hella confusing, and 101% guideline-less trickle down bitch effect. The average Joe is not as discerning as Jay, not to mention quite younger. I’m over entertainers blatantly ignoring their influence with unnecessaries.

Now I can’t heal the world of it’s bitchassness or holler at Kanye, Dream and Hov for a game of answer all my freaking questions. But what I can do is snag up two male friends, who’ve used bitch as a five-letter term of affection, and have them serve us their candid thoughts on why this petname has become more publicly popular than say: queen, love, bombshell, diced pineapple. These answers are interesting…

Whether you’re an artist or not, a word is a word. It’s on YOU to determine what it means and how it’s interpreted when it’s spoken. Are we questioning Hollywood with the usage of this word? Because I hear that sh-t in movies and TV shows night after night. How can we have this discussion when females are deeming themselves “BAD BITCHES” night after night? I think it’s a case-by-case situation with the terms of endearment. In the club, bitch is just a blanket statement because females will deem themselves ‘bad bitches’ before hitting the club especially when they know they look better than the NEXT ‘bad bitch.’ I’ve said it when I’m in the club, ‘damn that bitch look good as hell.’ But when I’m outside of the club on the street, people watching, on Twitter, I’ll use ‘shorty,’ ‘dear,’ ‘dumpling,’ something funny and quirky. Queen? No, that’s reserved for my mom and my wife. I personally feel we give certain words WAY too much power. “ —LowKey, 28

That’s the million dollar question. I feel like bitch being a term of endearment is some generational shit. Girls these days deal with disrespect on the regular and bitch is just one of those things that after a while becomes normal. I don’t think there’s any real appeal to the word, it’s just embedded in us now and we accept it and celebrate it. It’s weird, but if you put ‘perfect,’ ‘bad,’ ‘sexy,’ in front of the word girls won’t get mad. Using the word itself is a no-go though… you’ll probably be bitch-less afterwards.”—Richard, 26

Good points, eh? Though, I could smash Low’s Hollywood point with the swiftness, but that would just require another graph and we’re good on that lol. Thank you fellas. The issue is certainly one both sexes share ownership with.

Now on to the female perspective. Me nor Chazeen nor Guerdley are every women, so I needed to swipe a few more thoughts from some other lady friends of mine. Their answers are rather interesting as well…

“I’m on the fence because I look at it like, if it’s my man it’s somewhat sexy. I feel like the word can be used in a negative way and in a positive way, as dumb as that sounds. But then when I say that I feel like I’m justifying people using it just like the N word. Personally, I don’t get bothered when someone I date calls me “his bitch.” But sometimes I ask myself, ‘Am I making it OK for guys to call us a bitch any time they want?’ I feel in the middle. At one end when it comes to some rappers, they’re not being derogatory, but its hard because if we accept it, its like we have to accept the ignorant jerks that call us out of our names.  I love being a woman but damn it’s hard…” —Nakia, 26

“I personally don’t want anyone I’m dating calling me a bitch. Something about the word just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. If you’re going to call me anything that can be questionably endearing though, call me ‘your n—a.’ For some reason that doesn’t bother me. As for artists using it as a term of endearment, I’m honestly on the fence about it. When I listened to Jay-z and Kanye’s “That’s My Bitch” I had visions of Beyonce dancing around Jay before throwing up the Roc sign because it was obviously meant as a compliment. I do think it’s a little irresponsible though, it can make these boys feel like they can throw it around all willy-nilly. If you’re not Jay or Ye it gets weird. “ —Danielle, 24

“Anytime I hear that word it just screams ownership especially since it’s usually paired with the word “my.” Like ‘Yeah that’s my new watch, that’s my car, and that’s my bitch.’ I understand that the dude wants to show her off and that they actually may have a wonderful relationship, but it still sounds like the girl is an item. If you ask any girl who they are to their husbands, boyfriends, or boos, the word bitch would not be their response, smh…” — Cassie, 21

I think what everyone’s concerned with the most is public oversaturation and how this will affect the next phase of bitchdom. I’m satisfied with that concern, but truth be told, even if you flipcam’d a burning bush in the midst of declaring a new universal rule of profanity, there’d still be some Bs buzzin. Blame it on the snow-haired colonials of 1787—for better or worsa, folks are just not willing to bargain on their freedom of speech. Howeverrr, there’s this really lovely adjective-noun combo called personal standards that comes in handy during times like these. Set them high, set them low, just do yourself a favor and live by them. Show us what you got, Kanye.

Much x and o (but no b) to you all,

Tracy (@trayhova | @WWMDtv)

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  1. i dont understand why the use of any of these words is always coming up in discussion….nigga, bitch, whore, etc. these are just words, nothing more. you can take any word and make it a positive or negative depending on how you use it. so im not sure why were still arguing these terms. cant we just leave it as let each person choose what they feel is acceptable. if you dont like being called a bitch, a nigga, or a whore then dont tolorate that behavior. but if you have no problem with those terms and find them to be terms of endearment, then that is fine too. people need to stop being so offended by what others say. if some stranger comes up to me and calls me a bitch, then ya, i should probably be offended. but do a really have the right to be offended by hearing him talk to his friends, or girl, or whoever and referring to someone as a bitch…no. if people could stop worry so much about what others do and worry about themselves the world would be better place.

    abcdefg, 2 years ago Reply


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