We all know her. The gal who races through life scouring for men like their floating gold coins. Then spends all her leftover time feeding you mundane chatter about aforementioned escapades. She’s excessive, a glutton for testosterone and tends to squeal twice a sentence, but hey, that’s your girl. Problem is, as life begins wrapping you into a cocoon of self-development, a little voice wonders hey, why is she your girl? Not that there’s anything questionably evil about her, but because you can’t remember what the hell you have in common cause it’s flattened beneath her rubble of boy-craziness.
Now sometime in the middle of writing this intro a quick premonition hovered above my brain of a flippant voice saying: “Well aren’t all the chicks of WWMD boy-crazy? I mean their sh-t is called What. Would. A. Mannnnnn. Do…” Ah, valid question miss imaginary neck-snapper. And because I wouldn’t be surprised if some real-life readers felt my mind’s eye on that, do know that we’ve created WWMD to be, boy-informative—gotta love the power of hyphens and lexicon.
Okay, hello. The no chaser truth is, all of us are concerned about our love lives. It’s human nature after all and can lead to really insightful heart-to-hearts and other productive stuff, but we must all find our balance. And even if you’ve got a handle on that, if your closest friend doesn’t, your ass can still reach a tipping point. I trust your ass is a great cushion, but that fall gon still hurt son. So with that said, please pay special attention to some options you have here for keeping your sanity and expanding hers.
Don’t Fake Your Excitement When Hearing The Same Ol Tales…
Yo, some of us are to blame for our girls gone man wild. It’s called being an enabler. And while some of us are more heavy-handed than others, we are participants in some way. How? Because we’ve sorta convinced ourselves that women will melt into a puddle of Drake tears at the drop of even minor rejection. Minor rejection as in: “Yo, we (traynote: yes, we’re using “we” here even though it represents “you,” because etymology tells us that this tiny edit softens every blow, every time, thank me later) talk about boys all the damn time girl, what’s good with your career life?” When reality probably looks like: boy crazy talk, boy crazy talk, you feverishly nodding your head, you feverishly nodding your head, boy crazy talk, boy crazy talk, you chiming in with “oh sh-t!”, you chiming in with “oh sh-t!” and back again. Stop that. This is your galpal, help her re-route.
Joke About Her Being Boy-Crazy, Then “No, But Really” Her…
This is really one of the greatest segues of all time, especially if you keep the smile in your voice going throughout the entire process of joke fizzling into truth. So if option one makes you feel guilty, please get your Chris Rock on. I believe in you.
Slowly Put The Friendship Into Retirement Mode…
Retirement is a very purposeful word here. I chose it because as rappers show us ever six months, retirements can be reversed. You’ve heard these maxims plenty of times before: “You are the company you keep,” “You are the average of your five closest friends,” “You’re a product of your environment.” If re-reading them now made your intestines feel ready to curdle, then it might be time for a trusty fade to black plan. Unless you’re smangin’ your boy-crazy girlfriend, remember you go to sleep alone. It’s not selfish, it’s self-preservation. Get it while you can.
BONUS! TERRIBLE WAYS TO HANDLE YOUR BOY-CRAZY FRIEND…
- Complaining about her limited conversation to not-so-close friends
- Inserting exaggerated sighs every time she opens her mouth
- Pointing a remote control in her face
- Ignoring all three of the options you read earlier and opting to keep yourself on mute
Tell me, do your shoulders feel lighter? Ears cleaner? Or do I only make like 8% sense? Either way do share your tales and methods on dealing with MENtally challenged girlfriends lol.
Much x and o yo,
HUNGRY FOR MORE BLOGS? FEED YA NEED:
- ATTN: Attention Whores! 4 Signs You Dig His Flattery More Than Him
- Hammertime: When Rough Sex Gets Too Damn Demanding (For Him!)
- B*tch, Please: Is There A Prob With Men Calling Their Perfect Girl The B Word?