Take the dick and get over it. It feels good, just doesn’t look good…
Two Friday evenings ago over some damn good wine, a friend of mine shared a story about how she finally got down to unbuckling her dream man’s, greedily at that. But when she finally tugged off those boxers, she had to choke back horror when his dick popped to attention donning a headscarf. She froze up and made up some sh-t about getting her period. Sigh. Deep in her pretty little soul, she almost believed this thing would lurch at her face, swallowing her alive. Which sounds like an ill time to me, but I digress.
In general schlongs can be pretty freaky looking— like something lurking at the bottom of a Halloween sales bin. But when you finally leave your elementary aesthetics behind in the virgin islands and come across a couple Ds, you start to see, feel, dirty etc, dirty etc. the beauty behind the beast. I know yall are with me right now, but oh how I’d love to see your face react to these two all-capped words, UNCIRCUMCISED PENISES. Some of yall are disgusted with me right now hahaha. Whatev beauties, they’re out there, attached to men with Hollywood smiles and character traits that would turn your mother on. Do remember there was a time when Rick Ross mugs were seen as “dirty,” in comparison to Bieber baby smoothness. So in an attempt to peel off the stigma stuck on hoodied manhoods, I reached out to a couple non-discriminating girlfriends of mine to get some blunt talk on why they fancy rock’n out with an uncut cock. After all, tis the season for layering…
“Although the uncircumcised penis is a scary unknown for most American women, once you branch out and sample the flavors from a land far off (which is where those can usually be found) and learn how to finesse the foreskin, you can actually grow quite attached. I love my boyfriend’s… almost more than I love him, haha. It’s like handling a Mac or a PC— once you become familiar with the language you don’t want to go back to the other. Only once have I experienced a scary turtleneck and ironically enough it was a white American dude who looked like he had a deflated balloon over his unimpressive appendage… but I kind of like the extra fabric as well because there is more to move around. And I know it’s more sensitive for them. From what I remember about circumcised penises—and its been a while—is that there is not much to work with… like, when you’re giving a hand job—there is some motion built in with the skin. Don’t be scurred.”—Briana, 29
“Take the dick and get over it. It feels good, just doesn’t look good. And when I say feels good, I mean better than a circumcised one. Think of it as a piece of chicken with more meat on it—you’re working with a much thicker head lol. But def wear a condom, because the extra skin holds more bacteria.”—Nicole, 26
“Don’t judge me. Uncircumcised ones are just more of a challenge. Besides being coated with an extra layer of width which is already a treat to the penetration process, they seem to last longer. As in cum later. Most guys who have big dicks and haven’t been circumcised haven’t come across too many girls that can take their package in its full delivery. So they don’t get overwhelmed and cum quick too often, it’s processional for them because they’re physically not as sensitive. So besides being bigger, the sex lasts longer. And it’s just motivating when you make a guy like that finally cum quick. That’s when you officially know you got the good good… From what I gather of course.” —Shawnna, 26
So tell me, how are you feeling? Are you finally warming up to the sweater’d kind? It’s quite a sight at first, but embrace the view. It’s natural and God don’t make mistakes. But hey, I’m also a Scorpio hahaha. Let me know your thoughts below and men perhaps you can drop a lil PSA as well.
Much x n o,