What? What did we do to mess up the male approach? That would be my initial uber defensive response to this blog title. While there are tons of guys willing to holler at the drop of a dime, there are still a handful or two that don’t do it and it annoys the crap out of me and my girls. It’s the ones that you really want who just won’t bite the subliminal bate.
This weekend. I got up with some of my guy friends and this was the topic/question of conversation, as per me: Why do we ladies always feel like we have to initiate with a guy that we like? Why can’t they just grow balls and holla at us? Are we entering an age where men are becoming too shy to approach us? Here’s what my friend had to say about that one:
“You know what? I don’t hit on chicks that often when I go out. I don’t hit on chicks because they are usually rude and love coming up with new and innovative ways to diss guys or they lead us on knowing damn well that they weren’t interested in the beginning” - Eddie, 28
Ok. It’s that fear of rejection. Hard core, heartless rejection. So maybe we are to blame for this one ladies? haha. Well when we’re not interest in a guy, entertaining his conversation or offering a nice “Hello” seems to sometimes lead him to believing that we’re interested and so our defense mechanism sometimes kicks in and we resort to the only way that we may know how to turn a guy down, initially: With a straight SHUTDOWN. Eek. I’ll state my piece on the 2nd half of his statement at the end of this blog. Anyway! They weren’t entirely feeling my excuse above and were especially adamant about avoiding females who lead you on so I thought I’d give them the opportunity to air their thoughts on this WWMD blog. Here’s a look inside the minds of men and their thoughts on how some females may have messed up their approach game.
“Honestly I think the problem with women rejecting dudes is that they wait too long to do it. Like they wait until the guy has an investment in the situation. That’s what causes the issues. Y’all wait until we have hung out a few times, spent money, washed your car, etc etc etc and then all of a sudden dude makes a move and y’all are like “Umm we are friends, arent we?” - Ian, 32
“One time I remember this one girl was straight up and said ‘I’ll be honest. I’m not gonna call.’ I appreciated that because she was straight up from the beginning. I’ve had experiences when females lead you on and have you thinking that it can go somewhere then never call or when I call she never picks up. It’s ok to be honest and politely say ‘Your not exactly my type.’ Who knows, her type is probably worst than what I am actually.” - Dwayne, 29
“I would suggest something along the lines of a girl just being real with her situation. If it was legit her preferences or if it was about my approach. You know. Open and honest feedback. I can learn for the next time and for the next girl.” - Shaan, 25
“I get it. Some guys are relentless. They let their ego get in the way and take offense regardless of the approach that she uses to turn him down. That’s when you have to get creative with it. She may just have to say that she has a boyfriend. Whatever it is, still let him know. You’ll save him time, money etc in the end. Those guys give normal guys like us a bad wrap. It sucks when you approach a female the right way and she completely shuts you down in a rude way when you did nothing to disrespect her” - Jason, 25
I’m a big advocate of never being rude when a guy tries to holla unless, of course, he gets disrespectful. As my gal pal and co-host Tracy once said “If he approaches you with respect decline him with respect” I feel the guys on this one. One thing I will say is that telling a guy the deal in the beginning of the dating phase is easier said than done, specifically because we may like you in the beginning and realize later on down the line that those feelings have faded. I’m sure guys can relate to that awkward feeling of guilt when you’ve allowed someone to invest their time in you and later realize that you’re no longer interested. How do you let someone down without hurting their feelings and how do you avoid seeing the sad expression on their face? Guys usually do the fade out . Right? lol. Guess ladies aren’t that great at it. Nonetheless, take their advice ladies. If you keep it straight up with him at least you don’t have to continue getting annoyed by hanging out with him or wasting time on the phone or avoiding his calls. It’ll free up your time so that you can do something more productive with it. Trust me. I’m learning.
Got some more questions for the guys? Got some questions for me on how to give him the boot once you realize that you’re no longer interested (lol. j/k. Well kind of.), got some more advice to share?. Leave a comment below. Let us know ladies and gents.
Until next week!
WE’VE GOT MORE BLOGS! BELOW!
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- 5 Points Dudes Need You To Nix Off That Deal Breaker List… Like, Now.