Tracy
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9 May 2013 at 15 : 10 PM
5 Ways She Accidentally Makes His Penis Instasoft
It doesn’t matter how golden the pussy, there are just some things that’ll make a man’s penis go hmmm. And unfortunately the occurrence can look like whatevs in our eyes, but a dick downer in theirs. Cosmo brought this to my attention with a recent list they jammed together of fellas venting about random acts of unattractiveness [...]
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30 April 2013 at 15 : 41 PM
Could You Stay With Your Man If He Lost His Penis?
Here’s a nightmare I’d like you to ponder on for a sec… your quintessential knight in shining Jordans wants no one but you. He’s a mind-sex champ, can you twirl you around like a Disney princess with ease, remembers your mom’s birthday, doesn’t mind whipping up Wednesday dinner, and consistently turns your bedroom into an endorphin factory. [...]
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17 April 2013 at 13 : 12 PM
Confessions From A Gal Who Tried To Love A Petite Penis
Small dicks suck. There’s absolutely no denying it… just hiding it. Not hiding the sucky small dick, but you know, hiding the fact that you think said small dick sucks. For a few years I sweated the sheets with an ex who constantly vacay’d in some imaginary sex world where his jumbo sized cock was [...]
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26 March 2013 at 14 : 22 PM
Bill Gates Is Offering $100G To Make The Best Condom; Here’s What To Consider
Si, you read that headline right. Microsoft’s mogul is offering $100,000 to the one horny handy inventor who can hook up society’s sexually active with a “new generation” condom that’s more pleasurable then cumbersome. According to the NY Daily News: The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation’s call for a Condom 2.0 is part of its [...]
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18 March 2013 at 14 : 06 PM
Bow Out B*tches: 5 Types of Guys That Won’t Commit
As cuffin season throws us the middle finger and those warmer months get to seducing, ah how the testosterone begins to boil and men of all facets prepare for hunting season. But alas, you must ask yourself, is ol boy looking for a pack to prey on or a solitary bambi to stick his arrow [...]
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11 March 2013 at 14 : 39 PM
Pubes Decoded: What Your Down There Hair Says About You
For reasons I was too muted to ask about, my pubic hairs’ first sprouting was something like a big deal in the girls’ bathroom of my middle school. Unlike the chicklets who were high off puberty fumes, I had no interest in studying my vagina (whose only function for the last 11 years was to [...]
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25 February 2013 at 00 : 53 AM
What Sex Lessons Would You Give Your Virgin-Year-Old Self?
Remember how you felt about sex before you actually felt sex? The curiosity. The anxiety. The thrill. The disgust. Perhaps even the disinterest. Life actually felt calmer back then, less tangled in emotions and expectations and f-cking condoms. But once those thighs smile wide our perspective on the politics of love and lust get to [...]
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18 February 2013 at 13 : 57 PM
How To Keep Your Sex Life From Ruining Your Weave (And Vice Versa)
I have a dream. That one day I am honored the task of cross-examining 2 Chainz on behalf of all by-the-bundle manes everywhere. Why oh why monsieur Chainz, must that Hair Weave Killer moniker be so damn catchy? So damn enabling? So damn dangerous? I see you too, Terius Nash. Let’s have a moment of [...]
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10 February 2013 at 12 : 11 PM
Insta Nah: The Dealbreakers He’s Checking Off From Your Instagram
Story time! The other day I was at Starbucks, swigging down a vanilla spice latte when a squinty fellow with a Django beard struck up some awkward interaction with me mislabeled as conversation. Now from my experience with five minute holler grams, the grand finale usually ends with an aggressive phone number request and/or even [...]
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4 January 2013 at 17 : 31 PM
Easy On The Eyes, Tough On The Nose: What To Do With A Hot Guy Who Smells
One of the most disappointing creatures to ever walk this earth are aesthetically-advanced men with hygienically-challenged aromas. Sh*t sucks. No matter how immaculate the face, how chiseled the calf muscles, how family-friendly the character, a stench just can’t be ignored. So what the hell’s a chick with a functioning nose to do? Make a decision. [...]
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