Yes, labels in many cases can cheapen a situation and relationship. After all, true relationships are dynamic. What title can ever truly express your layers of friendship, intimacy, partnership, etc.? Even the all inclusive homie-lover-friend dub falls a steps short of something real. Although relationship titles, or requesting one, may feel a bit juvenile –they’re necessary. Being in a relationship without a title is like throwing on a pair of imitation Jordons. Those kicks could look and feel phenomenal, but until you see that flying man logo, you’re not official. You’re just a knock-off…

Still a bit on the rocker about the politics of titles? Check out this piece from ABelleInBrooklyn.com ‘s lovely Demetria Lucas on TheRoot.com, for a bit more insight.

Everything’s awesome. And from the looks of it, have the potential to become even more awesomer,  If would just set the heckling aside for a moment, then perhaps that would give him  the right amount of time to give his heart to you.

“I read something about a woman who was dating a guy for six months and he didn’t introduce her when they ran into people. It got me thinking — does it matter if your boyfriend introduces you like ‘This is Gina’ instead of saying, ‘This is my girlfriend, Gina’? Does saying ‘girlfriend’ first mean anything more than just saying the name?” –C.W.

I’ll probably tick off a lot of people and upset a lot of “relationships” by saying this, but yes, it means something more. It changes the way you are treated and perceived; a title or lack thereof is one indicator about the seriousness of the relationship.

Over the weekend, I attended a birthday celebration for a friend of my parents. It was a grand event with lots of people they didn’t know. We all had the honoree in common, so it made it easy to mingle. Without fail, everyone we met introduced themselves and whoever they were with as, “my wife, Gina,” “my husband, Martin” or “my daughter Ashley.”

There’s a reason for that. Not only does it establish the relationship, but it also gives a cue as to how you should respectfully proceed in engaging each of the parties.

“This is Gina” tells the person that you’re being introduced by nothing but your name. Gina could be a co-worker or a random woman he just met, and she could be fair game to approach about a date. It’s unclear and can make for awkward situations.

“My wife, so-and-so, or “my girlfriend” — that is, claiming someone — lets the person you’re speaking to know that there is a relationship in place and what kind. The title used denotes the importance of the relationship. Titles are also subtle signals that say, “Hands off. She’s taken. Do not approach.”

Click here to see where the tale leads…

Above all ladies, don’t press the issue. If he’s not, he’s not ready! And if he’s worth the wait, then give him time. However, we highly recommend you put the puss away in the meantime. Nothing hastens the pace like sex induced endorphins. If he doesn’t know where he stands with you, clarify the situation and draw a true line so he can gather more insight and get the “time” he requests.

Guerdley

@guerdley1 | @wwmdtv

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• Attention Whores! 4 Signs You Dig His Flattery More Than Him

Over recent years, I’ve realized a dating prerequisite that’s become pretty damn standard now – prowling the e-streets for digital FYIs on that nice guy who wants to meet up for candlelight and Thai at 8pm. I get why many of us women turn into Google detectives prior to meet up time. Who wants to get all Bey’d up just to wind up clanking glasses with a polygamist/sadist/mental terrorist/real terrorist in disguise? Times are different. People are loco. Browsers are everywhere.

However many gals go search bar crazy when it comes to screening new suitors. In this month’s issue of Glamour, Samantha Henig spotlights the trend (according to a Match.com survey of 5,481 singles 48% of women reach a conclusion about a guy face-to-Facebook before the first date) and warns that it could be more harmful than helpful. Plus she’s got the experts to cosign a well-balanced digital diet. “Too much information is detrimental,” explains Amy Van Doran, a matchmaker in New York City. “It makes it hard to fall in love. For that, you have to be in the moment.”

If there’s a chance your browser history might paint you as a prying addict, check out a few of Glamour’s reasons for why the sh*t’s gotta end.

YOU TURN INTO A COMPARISON SHOPPER:

“Technology makes it very easy to eliminate people on the basis of what, in the grand picture of a relationship, might end up being a pretty negligible point,” says Nicole B. Ellison, Ph.D., an associate professor of information at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, who explains that the treasure trove of data available via social media sites has encouraged people to treat their dating options like a shopping experience.

Also, “You’re trying to suss out: Will this person and I have a connection? Actually, there is no evidence that we can assess that online,” says Eli J. Finkel, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois, whose research on online dating shows that misconceptions are rampant. “You think you know what you want, but what you really need is to sit across from each other and get a beer.”

YOU HIJACK THE CHEMISTRY:

“You can’t determine if somebody is a potential mate by any means other than being together and looking into his eyes,” says Brian Alexander, coauthor of The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex, and the Science of Attraction. And he means looking into someone’s eyes literally: “Eye gaze is one of the chief tools humans have used throughout evolution to gauge each other’s intentions,” explains Alexander; biologically, it triggers the release of neurochemicals like oxytocin, a hormone that lowers anxiety and increases our ability to get close. Touching and having an intimate conversation can do the same.

No hormones are released, however, when you Yahoo- search someone. “If we sat down and rationally thought about it, we would never fall in love,” asserts Alexander, “and we would certainly never have babies, because it’s a pain in the ass.” That’s where all the neurochemicals come in. In the throes of attraction, you’re more willing to date a guy who doesn’t exactly match all your criteria but, as you get to know him, turns out to be the perfect long-term mate. “Love makes you stupid for a good reason,” Alexander says.

Now if that wasn’t enough to convince you to fall back, check out the final and strongest point here. Then act like keyboards can talk, look down at your own and follow suit as it screams, “Scram!” Good luck on your real-life dates.

Till next sons,

TG. (@itstracyg I @WWMDtv)

HUNGRY FOR MORE BLOGS? FEED YA NEED:

No Tip-Toeing On His Marble Floors
“The first time I saw a girl giving herself a pedicure, I was kinda shocked at how much it made my junk want to curl up and die. There’s something so sexy about nice, taken care of feet, but so icky about knowing what women have to do to get feet like that. And it wasn’t just the clipping and excavating; I couldn’t even watch her paint on polish. I just kept thinking about how her hands were all over her feet…and how little I wanted her hands to be all over me after that.” --Dave

Blame It On Mona
“I overheard my girlfriend talking on the phone with a friend about The Real Housewives of Something or Other and she was getting so worked up. For a second, I thought I must be misunderstanding and that she was talking about people she knew. She reminded me of some middle-aged woman who had nothing going on and sat around all day dissecting soap operas. And call me crazy, but I don’t really have a thing for middle-aged women who have nothing going on.” —George

Body Party
“I used to hook up with this woman who had a great body, but was really self-conscious. She never wanted to do it with the lights on, which I guess would have been fine, but she also covered up immediately after sex. And in four months, I never saw her stand in front of me butt-ass naked. It got old real quickly and after a while, I started to see her body in a different way. I would have much preferred she had a few extra pounds on her or less-than-perfect boobs, but was happy with her body. If you can’t get psyched about your own body, how can I?” ——Chris

Watch Ya Mouth
“Sometimes ladies think it is necessary to take dirty talk in a slightly self-deprecating direction, as in I’m such a slut or I want to be your dirty whore tonight. It can make a man feel like a dirtbag, rather than a badass, and not really want sex.””—Jared

Fill ‘Er Up
““It’s such a turn-off when a girl is afraid to eat in front of me. It makes me automatically think she’s self-conscious and on top of that, afraid to be herself in front of me. That does not bode well for other types of activities…” ——Brian

Dudes, got anymore innocent moments turned disgusto magnets? Ladies, are these wildly bogus and hypocritical? Let us know yo!

Till next,

@WWMDtv

1.) Old-Hollywood Waves
“The ’40s look is a classic aesthetic that can carry from the boardroom to a nice dinner and, hopefully, to the bedroom. What men want is a woman who can be sexy, confident, and capable in all of those environments.” —Darren, 29

2.) Long Lashes
“Mega-lashes are playful and flirty—almost as if the girl is saying, ‘You can look, but you can’t touch.’” —Carlos, 28

3.) Beach Hair and Bed Head

“It gives off a surfer-chic, laid-back vibe that makes me think she’d be easy to get along with.” —Christian, 22

4.) Glossy Lips

“It’s like red lipstick’s sexy younger sister. Just as kissable but a little coyer. I see it and I just hope she’s got more stashed in her bag for the reapply after our first great kiss.” —John, 30

5.) The Pixie Haircut

“When a girl with that haircut walks into a room, she’s announcing her self-assuredness and comfort with herself. You know she’s going to tell you what she wants.” —Daniel, 27

6.) A No-Fuss Ponytail

“A pretty woman in a ponytail is a classic look. It shows she cares about her appearance but not in an overdone way. She’s probably a lot of fun to be around.”—Alvin, 27

7.)  Smoky Eyes

“Smoky eye makeup makes a woman look like a seductive temptress while still keeping it classy. I like to call it freaky chic.” —Larry, 31

8.) Red Nail Polish

“When you see a lady wearing red nail polish, you know three things: She’s sexy, she’s confident, and she wants you to know she’s sexy and confident.”—Nick, 35

9.) Glowy Skin

“Dewey skin reminds me of all those girls I had crushes on in gym class. They aren’t hiding behind gobs of makeup, and that’s hot.” —Julian, 29

10). The Natural Look

“Minimal makeup speaks to a certain amount of confidence that is incredibly attractive.” —Emmanuel, 26

Harmless right? Who can’t appreciate a fun ponytail or some nicely laid baby hairs? I kid! Above all ladies, guys are draw to simplicity, confidence, and general maintenance. That’s not a hard act to follow right?

Fellas, any more beauty favs?

Muah!

Guerdley

@guerdley1 | @wwmdtv

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Such. A. Keeper.

But one day there’s a glitch in that factory and the man you love & lust is paralyzed from the belt buckle down. Are you in it for long haul?

I bring this imaginary horror up because during the show this week (Sway In The Morning) we spoke about 43-year-old Rafe Biggs. A paraplegic who worried he’d never feel sexual pleasure again… that is, until his mighty thumb came to the rescue.

“I never thought it would be possible, but massaging and sucking on my thumb, feels a lot like my penis used to feel — it’s really hot,” says Biggs, who lovingly refers to his thumbs as his surrogate penis.

Now I’m very happy (and sorta jealous) Biggs discovered an incognito phenomenon for public masturbation called transfer orgasm, but it made me wonder about the loyalty breaking point for folks when a significant other goes through some significant sh*t.

Our callers were split between ride-or-die sentiments and signaling an open relationship conversation. Universe forbid I’m ever faced with this obstacle, personally I’d dedicate myself to daily prayer and a mega candid sex talk. Not immediatelllllllly, because mental and emotional comfort will take precedence for quite some time, but later… with a doctor. A working tongue is quite the blessing, but what about dude’s pleasure? Thumb wrestling like Mr. Biggs isn’t exactly a guarantee. Could you remain resilient or would you wilt into a mess of sexual frustration? Let me know! #judgementfreezone

Till next kids,

TG. (@itstracyg I @WWMDtv)

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• 5 Privileges He’ll Revoke After You Friend Zone Him
• Confessions From A Gal Who Tried To Love A Petite Penis
• I Don’t Give a F@#k: 5 Questions You Really Need to Ask on the 1st Date

Regardless of what I like, at the end of the day you need to be in the type of relationship that you enjoy so if you don’t like receiving mostly texts then… TIME TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, LOVELY! I recently came across this great post on datingadvice.com that provides 3 easy steps for how to “train” your man to call instead of texting. Men respect standards ladies, so it’s time to get some. Just be mindful of how you communicate these standards. Check out their advice below!

Here’s how it’s done ladies:

In the beginning of your relationship, respond to one of his texts by saying, “I prefer to use texting for quick messages about meeting up. I’ll pick up my phone if I see it’s you calling. J.”

This text communicates that you have boundaries and requirements and that you’d be happy to reward him by taking his phone calls without chastising him.

“Training him is about rewarding all the behaviors you like.”

The next stage is a little more difficult.

Most humans won’t follow a new rule until they see a consequence in action. He’ll probably still text you a few more times. And if you respond to those texts, you are rewarding his behavior and breaking the rule you just set up.

So keep your pretty manicured hand off your keyboard. Remember, part of the training is the testing phase. He wants to see how easy you are to manipulate.

Heads up. In this stage, he may even get angry and give you the silent treatment, stopping texts and phone calls all together to see if you’ll take the bait.

A player will likely fall off your radar entirely and you can thank your lucky stars that you shook him off before he gave you a broken heart or an STD.

The guy who’s into you still has you on his mind. … read more here

“Training him is about rewarding all behavior that you like” If you remember anything, remember that ladies! It is the golden ticket to receiving the type of treatment that you want/expect from anyone. I’m not the biggest fan of purposely not responding to his messages for a long period of time but I am a fond believer of implementing consequences for non-preferred actions. All in all, if you try out this advice and it doesn’t work, I say on to the next one. Someone who really likes you won’t take this long to get the hint. If he really likes you, he’s doing everything he can to get on your good side and he’s paying attention to every detail of this dating experience. One last piece of advice: Don’t wait too long to put your foot down… by that point it will almost be pointless to implement the advice above. It’s really hard to break a habit, once it is fully developed and he’s comfortable with it. You got this sugars! Make it happen

Until next time! Ta ta!

Chazeen (@chazeenp| @WWMDtv)

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Sounds lovely, but be prepared for reality. Those “nice guy” qualities you thought were intrinsic will soon be extinct. You will no longer be treated like the dream girl he wished he had. Instead, you’ll just be the chick he kinda had a thing for back in the day, but yeah–he’s over it now. A matter of fact, can you put him on with your friend?

Again, harsh realities I still grapple with from time to time…But evidently your girl aint alone! Our homie and WWMD throwback guest, Jozen Cummings recently wrote a blog that expressed a similar vent. In a post he declares Seven Ways For Women To Be Better In The Friend Zone he helps puts a screeching halt to those CGS delusions we pretty girls tend to have. Feel free to peep the reality check. Warning: It’s a hard swallow, but emotionally nutritious. Nom, nom.

1. SECOND ROUND OF DRINKS ON YOU

“First round’s on me,” says every guy to his friend or group of friends as they’re making plans to get drinks after work or during the game. A man will easily buy a drink for his woman friend as well, but ladies, this shouldn’t go on all night. You get a round too, specifically round two. That’s not man law; that’s friend law.

2. LET ME TELL MY STORIES

About those twins I met on my trip to Brazil, let me tell you every detail about it. None of this TMI stuff. We’re friends! There’s no such thing as TMI amongst friends unless it’s incriminating. Besides, I need to tell you this story because it’s a classic and I want you, my friend, to be happy for me.

3. DON’T GET MAD BECAUSE I FORGOT YOUR BIRTHDAY

Ask any of my boys if I remember their birthday. They will tell you I don’t. Then ask them if we’re still friends. They will tell you we are. If I forgot your birthday, don’t get mad. Somedays I don’t log onto Facebook. Happens to the best of us and to the best of friends! My bad.

4. HOOK ME UP WITH YOUR FRIENDS

Remember that time I tried to date you and you said no? The only reason why I was okay with that is because your friends are just as fine. I didn’t know this when I first met you, but then you accepted my Facebook friend request and all of a sudden I see photo album upon photo album of you with your group of fine friends. Set me up with one of them, and don’t tell me no just because I tried you first. That’s not fair to me or your friends.

5. LIE AND DON’T TELL ANYONE I TRIED TO HOOK UP WITH YOU

One thing guys will always do for their compadre is tell a woman he is a good guy, knowing good and well he’s pretty much like every other guy. We don’t say that because we really think for the right woman our friend will be a great guy, so we always give him the benefit of the doubt. Ladies, if we’re friends, I don’t care how much dirt you know about me, I need you to do the same thing.I also need you to lie on my behalf and when another girl asks you if I ever tried to hook up with you, not only should you say I never did, tell them you wanted to hook up with me and I put you in the friend zone. Thanks in advance!

Blows, but hey it’s only fair. Being the girl that accepts sweet advances from the guy she friend zoned is the relational equivalent to the guy who strings along the girl who’s in love with him. In the end, both are wicked games. And if he’s really your “friend” you won’t abuse his kindness, even if he allows it.  Also, click here to read the rest of Jozen’s grievances. Feel free to relay the message to your pretty ego. She too may need a reality check.

Progressively Yours,

Guerdley

@guerdley1 | @wwmdtv

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For a few years I sweated the sheets with an ex who constantly vacay’d in some imaginary sex world where his jumbo sized cock was the king of the jungle and magnums were his necessary armor. Now I know that sounds like a hot spot and all, ‘cept it was difficult for me to frolic about in his fantasy, when in our real sex world he was swinging nothing more than a swollen pinkie. Sad face. I will never forget the conversation my mind, libido and face had when that young man first pulled out the golden wrapper. “Tracy, stay calm, stay wet, and give him a chance.” It’s one thing to have a petite penis, it’s another to roll down an xxl contraceptive over that petite penis.

And yet despite the physical set backs, mentally and emotionally he was quite the ill one, plus I loved him, so I made it a habit to cater to his um, small, ego and make him feel like he could star in a porn. The man could easily score a gold medal at the oral olympics and was the greatest kisser/spooner at the time, so I made sure to focus on that, while a reassuring lie was kept on deck at all times in case self-esteem questions sparked. I also enjoyed going down on him, although I remember sorta feeling like a pedophile once or thrice. Second sad face.

But ultimately, I knew I wasn’t having the type of sex I craved. I’m empathetic to the fact that there’s really not shit you can change about a mini-p. There’s no penile weight lifting system, pills lie and last week during my School of Sex segment on Sway In The Morning we spoke about prisoners going so far as giving themselves DIY penis implants to assure their joints are memorable. Yuck.

What can be changed is the way a small penis owner handles his title. Even with all my pats on the back, the ex still wasn’t the most confident smasher and didn’t seem to know the best ways to handle his machinery. This resulted in me taking the more masculine role in bed, all the cot freaking time. Blah! In my opinion small penis owners should be assertive, well-versed in the positions/thrust levels that work best for their size, not be delusional about their condom of choice and perhaps also be wary about dating a Scorpio. In exchange I’ll work on my kegels.

Ladies who’ve dealt with similar situations, I want to hear from you! What was the adjustment process like for you?

Till next,

TG. (@itstracyg I @wwmdtv)

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